The BackTheFuckUps are, as one and all should know, Toronto's premier back-up band. They can and will bleed, sweat and cry to learn any song for you '“ yes, you, you sad weeping freak, who have always longed to rock the mic with your dulcet caterwauling. But why, for the love of James Coco, should they suffer such a loss of bodily fluids to give you the chance? Who are these howling fiends, these musical mops on the dirtiest dancefloor in town? Andrew Lloyd Moseby talked to the four-man eye of the storm at the Victory Café over vengeance pints. Ladies and gentlemen, the wisdom of Eric Abboud, Darin McConnell, Dean Sterling and Nicky 'œTwo-Balls'? Taylor.

What's the big idea, Abboud? What made you want to do this in the first place?
EA: Well, Andy... originating. Forming.
All: Originating, forming, originating. Birthing! Birthing! Birthing!
DM: Okay, I'm done (working).
EA: Oh, well, let's have a drink!
EA: Let's have a 'œcheers'? to Darin!
Busboy: [clearing table] No more sugar for you, I'm cutting you guys off.

That's okay, you're probably fired too.
NT: Now, remember the key to journalism: Make It Up. As long as we look good, make it up.

You hired the wrong man.
NT: So here we are at the Victory on the night that Darin gets fired.
EA: Anyway... I always believed there should be a session band '“ a back-up band for everyone who didn't have a band, like drummers... and before Darin had all these tunes as The Fabulous Mr. Muli...
NT: I think the original idea was for us to back up people doing their own songs, but it ended up being a cover band more than anything else.
EA: I was helping Nick move and the idea was in my head, and I thought, fuck, we should do it before I go away (travelling around the world with lady friend Sue Howard), and Nick was like 'œLet's do it! I'll play bass'? and so voila!

How did you choose the people?
EA: Well, Nick chose himself...

Well, he does that.
EA: I had a list of everybody I wanted to be in it originally. I wanted Dean to play more keyboards '“ forget about singing, about worrying, and just... play.
DS: Worrying about licking the white-black stuff.

I'm glad you did that. The Dirty Hearts played a New Year's BTFUps Rip-Off show while you were away and Dean played keys on almost everything.
NT: It was a good opportunity to be a musician musician '“ to actually learn the craft of your instrument '“ as opposed to just playing in your band and making your 'œband sound.'?

Yeah, '˜CUZ if you're just writing your own music, you can deliberately avoid that craft.
EA: There have been songs we've done where I've never drummed like that before, you know, the boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom...

The shuffle. And then we cock-blocked your flex at New Year's and I got to drum anyway.
NT: Even more of a rip-off and even more serious was The Commotions show when we got to open for Ronnie Spector, with Chris Murphy instead of Eric on drums.
DS: Eric was away on his voy-AGE.
NT: And we learned how to be Motown musicians, or soul musicians '”
DS: '” of LOOOOOOOOVE.
EA: When you're playing your own music, you can just be loud, or over the top... but doing this, you have to be more conscious of your place in the song. But when it came to being in the band, well, I wanted to play drums.

Well, it was your idea, dude. I'm not angry at you, you fucker.
EA: No, I know, but you play drums already, so for sure you had to sing a song. It was for that kind of stuff. The super sessions. [The BTFUps recorded 18 songs in 14 hours one night just before their first show last year.] Yeah, that was a classic night.

I can't believe we didn't have the cops on us.
EA: I never played drums for so long.
DM: That's when drugs help.
EA: I don't think we had any.
DS: [singing] If you ever/ change your mind/ about drinkin'...

Interview by Andrew Lloyd