Dear Marcel,
I was at a bar recently when I had a craving for chocolate milk with peppermint schnapps. The waitress searched for chocolate milk, but when she didn't have any, we went to the 7-11 to fetch some ourselves. Returning triumphantly with chocolate milk, we asked her to make us the drinks, which she did. My first question is whether or not it is okay in general to bring your own mixer to a bar. My second question is payment '” if I do bring my own mixer, should I pay for the whole drink, or just the shooter in it?
'” Loco for Cocoa

I'm glad you asked this question, Loco. I too have been in this situation, and I believe how I dealt with it may be just the fresh perspective on the dilemma you need. First of all, I'd like to commend you on knowing what you want and not giving up when it seems out of reach. This is a sign of character, important for any boozing hipster. Now, on to your question. Last summer, after a delightful afternoon of bocce ball in the hot summer sun, a friend and I went to a local patio to have a drink. We ordered mint juleps, but the waitress told us they did not serve them. We sent her away while we deliberated on what to do, and eventually came up with this plan: We ordered two shots of bourbon and two glasses of water, plus a spoon. There was already sugar for coffee on the table. My friend ran across the street to a grocery store and bought some fresh mint. We then sat on that patio and mixed our own mint juleps without a care for what anyone thought of the practice. We WOULD be refreshed! So following this approach, I would have to say that yes, it's okay to bring your own mix to a bar, just as long as you know they cannot supply it. Also, I say you pay for the shots, not the entire drink, as you are supplying the ingredients. However, I would also suggest that you do the mixing yourself. And one final note, I suggest we both find better places to quench our thirsts.

Dear Marcel,
Should tofu '” under any circumstances '” touch the grill of a BBQ?
'” Skeptic Skewer

Absolutely, yes! The barbecue is a grand summer tradition that promotes tastiness throughout the nation. Vegetarians should not be afraid of it, nor should friends of vegetarians be afraid of inviting them over for grilled delights. If the barbecue in question is a burgers and hot dogs affair, then the obvious vegetarian choice is veggie burgers and veggie dogs. It is a good idea to just let the vegetarian contingent bring their own, as there are many different brands and styles of these products and everyone has their own preferences. Another common variation on the barbecue is the shish kebab party. In this case, several kebabs should be made just with vegetables, where the hunks of chicken or beef would be replaced with cubes of tofu. Marinade is the key. A flavourful marinade is what makes any barbecue, and this goes doubly for the veggie-Q. It is also important to make sure you buy extra firm tofu for all your barbecuing needs, otherwise it will tend to break up and fall into the fire. For more strongly vegetarian-leaning gatherings it is always nice to pull out the big guns. Search the web for barbecue tofu recipes, there are many to be had. You will have to sift through some that are simply for oven prepared, barbecue flavoured tofu, but the real barbecue recipes are there. Remember, everyone is thrilled by the sight of grill lines, whether it be on a slab of steak or a brick of well-flavoured tofu. Given the right grill master and a good recipe, the most ardent meat eaters could be converted to tofu lovers instantly. Up with summer! It doesn't last long in these parts, and everyone should be able to enjoy every morsel of grand tradition and joy it has to offer. And while you're up, would you grab me a beer out of the cooler?