interview by jam butty

The Pauls are a rapidly expanding force. First they were two, Paul Julien (slacktar and volks) and Paul Mortimer (lap steel, bass, guitar and volks), borne out of the ashes of The Size Sevens. More recently, they saw the addition of Karen Wielonda (snare and tambourine) and Jonathan Adjemian (piano). Most recently, Gabeish (guitar and bass) and Cynthia Paul (abstract percussion, dancing, beauty). Those are all the facts you need. The Pauls are a party band, so I interviewed Karen and Paul M at a party. All of us had problems on our heads, so we called up Our Feminine Side and looked for answers.

Okay, Paul, what's on your mind?
Paul: I've got a couple of problems. Booze is one...
Karen: Everyone has that problem.
Paul: Hey, I play in Jon-Rae and the River, of course I have a drinking problem. No, it's not a very interesting problem. I... I have a problem with Honest Ed's.

What's that?
Paul: Well, I work there, and I find that I have to hang out with jaded lifers instead of the people I'd prefer to hang around.

What does your feminine side have to say about that?
Paul's Feminine Side: Haute couture. That's the answer. Well, it'll replace your Honest Ed's problem with a better, more expensive problem.

Problems like what?
Paul's Feminine Side: Like, 'œHow am I going to pay for this?'?
Karen: You could also organize special days at work.

Like J.Lo's Birthday!
Paul: Or 'œOvulation Day'?.
Paul's Feminine Side: Or like... an 'œanti-catcall'? day...

'œSolidarity Day!'? Umm, let's move on to Karen. What are your problems?
Karen: I have a problem that I love food more than I could ever love a person.

Easy, develop an eating disorder.
Karen: I already have one! I eat all the time!

No, go the other way.
Karen's Feminine Side: You need to focus on eating as a required function. Take less pleasure in it. Like, don't do the dishes. Eat with your hands. Eat off the floor, lots of fried food.
Paul: Or make sure all your dates are dinner dates!

Just do food-associated romance. Your eyes are like blueberries, your skin is as soft as a pancake... your buttocks are lemon soufflé...
Karen's Feminine Side: Think of people as kinds of cakes.

We went on to talk about my short-term memory issues. I said, 'œI can't understand why I forget everything all the time!'? while pounding back mojito after mojito. Later, we had some good ideas about talking about the 'œToronto Scene,'? but really, who wants to hear about that? You should pick up The Pauls' debut record Pauls Or Nothing, out now on Free Records. Free Records makes, guess what, free records. You just have to ask for them. And the disc is terrific, you'll be so glad you did.