Dear Marcel
By wavelength ~ Posted Saturday, December 4th 2004Dear Marcel,
I have a paralyzing fear of asking questions at record stores. The CDs are listed alphabetically and I know that if I simply ask where to find the new Deerhoof disc, I'll probably be greeted with a condescending eye-roll. But what if I just want to make conversation? I don't know if I can take that kind of rejection. - Shy Guy
This is a common fear, Guy. Working retail at any time can be a monotonous grind. Many of the people who work at specialized record stores are also in bands and consider themselves artists. There tends to be a creative streak in them, which makes the work that much more mind numbing after a couple of months at the job. Add to this coming into the job with a strong knowledge of music, which is expanded by working in a music retail environment, and you could see why some of these characters forget that they're just selling products and there is no prize for style in day-to-day life.
It's true. Indie rock record store clerks can tend to be irrationally snobbish. And if they are particularly seasoned they will not hesitate to share their disdain for your taste or ignorance or whatever other unacceptable behaviour you may display while shopping in their store. But fear not, for there are some steps that can be taken to avoid their quiet wrath.
The first action available to you is to try to get on their good side. This may be achieved by showing you have similar taste to them. When in the store in question surreptitiously scan the employee recommendation shelves. Now you don't want to buy anything that's actually on this shelf, but it can be used as a guideline for your impressive purchase. Make a note of a recommended record, then you want to find something else by the same band (make sure it's not their most popular!), or for even better results, you can find an album by a similar artist (if you do not know who would fit well, a quick search on allmusic.com can come up with a list for you). When you're at the counter with your album you can strike up a conversation with the clerk, making reference to his or her recommendation as an old favourite of yours. Never put it in the context of their recommendation though! Always make it look like you're coming up with it through your own devices.
After you have set this level of relationship with your record store clerk you should feel slightly more comfortable in those environs. Now the next step is to really wow them. This can be done with some simple research on the internet. Go to the website of a record distributor that deals in more obscure titles (if you don't know any, Forced Exposure can be a good starting point). You'll want to look up something that sounds like it is a seminal record in unknown music history. Be careful though, you don't want to go too out or experimental, for your clerk may react poorly and consider you a pretentious know-nothing. The key is to balance structured rock drive, with a completely unique sound. A record that may have influenced later musicians though it itself was never popular is always a safe choice, as are more antique foreign bands. Once you have made your selection go back to your record store and take a look around. The idea should be that the record stores does not stock the album you want, so you have the opportunity to sidle up to the counter and say very casually, with a hint of prophecy in your voice, something along the lines of "I don't suppose you have . . ." With good research and a little luck they will not have it, but you can get it specially ordered. There are two ideal reactions to this request: one is that the clerk will know the band you're asking about and fairly impressed by how deep your knowledge of the rock lexicon goes; the other is that the clerk will have never heard of the band and you can give him or her a brief spiel about where they come from, what they do and how they influenced the future of good music. Either one of these paths can lead down the road to indie cred!