Dear Marcel,
Is it bad etiquette to play Bob Marley music really loud when you 're standing in a crowded subway car? Is it okay for the person beside you to ask you to turn down the volume or should they just get off at the next stop?
Jah Reinhold

First off, there is nothing wrong with playing Bob Marley really loud no matter where you are. Bob was all about spreading the love, and you 're not going to spread anything very far with a whisper. So I say, like a whisper to a scream, crank those sweet rhythms up so the transit riding masses get a healthy dose of the sunshine and brotherhood. Especially in these dark, cold and slushy days. Let everyone loosen their scarves a bit and let Jah warm them from the inside out. Maybe they'll even be smiling by the time they get to work or wherever they may be going. Bob Marley thought he knew Babylon, but he didn 't ever ride the Bloor line out to Scarborough at 7am with two soakers and a back tensed from the cold.

In fact, it might be a good idea to have the TTC pump the music of The Wailers over their P.A. system in place of the classical music they currently use to discourage loitering and calm aggression. Who 's gonna get angry with their fellow man, waiting on the bus platform while waxing nostalgic about when they used to sing in the government yard in Trenchtown? Forget the days of consciously avoiding the eyes of hundreds of other commuters, grab a partner, and dance.

Now on to the matter of people asking the Marley supplier to turn down their walkman. In some instances, this may be perfectly justified. For example, if they 're blaring Justified. Now there 's nothing especially wrong with having a penchant for Justin Timberlake 's dance hits, but it certainly does not have the universal appeal of Bob Marley. Since your question specifies this to be a matter of the great unifier, I have to say that no, it is not okay to ask the Marley-blaster to turn down his or her walkman. It is also not okay for them to get up and switch cars. For the sake of their soul, they need to stick around and catch the fever. If this is beyond their capacity, then maybe they should just be labeled "does not work well with others" and banned from public transportation altogether.

Dear Marcel,
I just got back from visiting my parents over the holidays. Now, I love my family as much as society dictates I have to, but I found after a couple of days I really just wanted to go home early. I never managed to make the escape, but regret that I was coerced by guilt and a sense of obligation. Do you think I was right to suck it up, or next year should I just come and go as I please?
Sleepless in Suburbia

I am going to write this under the assumption that you are old enough to consider yourself an adult, SiS . . . or should I say Sissy? Really, I think it 's high time you started living your own life, and if that does not include rotting away in the Ôburbs for more than a couple of days, then so be it. Think of it this way (and train your parents to accept this outlook as well): if you moved across the country, or even off the continent, your parents would not have this reign on your whereabouts. It is easy to make this break when you have the physical distance, but it is important to force it if you do not have the distance. Spending time with your family over the holidays is a positive thing, but as you grow older, you develop your own life, and you obviously feel you have better things to do than watching Rush Hour five times on TBS while your parents argue in the next room over the placement of some household miscellany.

One thing of note though, if you are still in school and your parents are paying your tuition, I 'm sorry: they pay, you stay.

Marcel Gonsalves