Goddamn. If Greg Chambers, Lisa Nighswander, Minesh Mandoda, Adam Rosen and Dave Rodgers - collectively known as the Mean Red Spiders - haven't been haunting your musical erogenous zones since way before they played the first ever Wavelength back on Feb. 13, 2000, they have now gotten together with the very nifty Marco Landini and Brodie West to form Ghostlight, an improv collective that will scare the living bejeezus outta you! Wesley J Ramos tried his own form of electronic mail improv with the band and failed miserably.

OKAY GHOSTLIGHT, EXPLAIN YOURSELVES! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE? Dave Rodgers: We are carrying the torch for the excesses of 70s prog-rock. We are unapologetic about it, too! Adam Rosen: We are members of Mean Red Spiders moonlighting with some friends for the improvisational cause. Minesh Mandoda: Crawled into a slumber, upon seeing the light have transformed themselves into sound vessels, forms are no longer important but we still remain individuals.

YOUR LINE-UP CONSISTS OF AN ELITE BRETHREN OF TORONTO'S INDIE ROCK COMMUNITY. HOW DID YOU EVER GET DR. MARCO LANDINI TO GIVE UP HIS PROCTOLOGY PRACTICE AND RETURN TO MUSIC? DR: I showed him my hemorrhoids and fissures and he said that life is too short to continue in his line of work. I once saw a picture of someone born without a rectum - it was really strange. AR: A very tough sell. We promised Marco he could still work weekends. Marco Landini: My lawyer says no comment.

ALL THE BANDS THAT YOU GUYS PLAY IN TEND TO BE STEEPED IN A WIDE RANGE OF DYNAMICS AND FANTASTIC TEXTURES. EVERY SOUND AND IDEA IS MANIPULATED TO THE FULLEST, OFTEN PUSHING THE ENVELOPE OF EXPERIMENTATION. WITH THIS IN MIND, CAN YOU TELL ME WHO YOUR FAVOURITE MUPPET SHOW CHARACTERS ARE? AR: (the no-brainer) "Animal was my favourite drummer. I couldn't get this off my mind last summer." DR: The Swedish Chef (I am far too fond of poultry), Animal (I wonder if John Bonham was flattered to have a puppet based on him) and Beaker. ML: Beaker and Bunsen Honeydew.

ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN KICKING AROUND THE TORONTO INDIE SCENE BEFORE WAVELENGTH STARTED FIVE YEARS AGO.TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION ALL THE CHANGES THE MUSIC SCENE HAS GONE THROUGH, GOOD OR BAD, WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT: FLASH GORDON OR TARZAN? AR: Huh? (sorry...been practicing sleep-deprivation for impending parenthood) DR: Tarzan sucks. Children should not have to deal with such imperialist trash. MM: Can't we all be friendz? ML: What's wrong with these people, were they raised by wolves?

THE TORONTO INDIE MUSIC COMMUNITY HAS REALLY PROSPERED IN THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS, WITH THE INTERNATIONAL SUCCESS BY MANY OF OUR HOME-GROWN TALENTS. DID YOU KNOW THAT IN 1981, FOUR OUT OF FIVE AMERICAN TEENAGERS THOUGHT CHUCK BERRY WAS HOST OF THE GONG SHOW? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? AR: Roast Fish Collie Weed and Cornbread - this is how it happens, man. MM: With time, anything and everything is possible. ML: Watching The Gong Show for a number of years has forced me to take a long and hard look into butt-science. I really don't know what more you want me to say - talk to my lawyer. DR: Conversely, we are so old that bands we thought sucked in 1995 have influenced watered-down versions of themselves that suck even more. The recent No-Wave/Death Disco revivals (and revivals of pretty much anything else) are pretty funny to old people like us.

ANYTHING TO ADD? DR: Go to the source whenever possible! MM: Salt. ML: And yet again I have been advised by my lawyer, no comment. AR: Soon Over Babaluma, man.

BY WESLEY J RAMOS