The Dating Service
WL 254 '“ March 13 10pm

The Dating Service is Lex Vaughn, Maggie MacDonald, and Teela Shanks. Fed up with the stultifying effect that corporate culture has on working people in the modern world, they've set out to save us through the powers of music, community, and art. How Gauche asked them a few questions.

I'M NEVER INTERESTED IN GIRLS WHO ARE INTERESTED IN ME, SO I'M NOT DATING MUCH LATELY. I ASK YOU, THE DATING SERVICE, FOR YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
That's exactly what I'm talking about! Look, if there are several ladies interested in you, then there's definitely nothing "wrong" with you. Don't fall into the swamp of self-doubt, because the next thing you know, you're gonna start buying Dr.Phil's books and cry when Jann Arden songs are playing in the supermarket. The Dating Service commands you to feel good and get down to our almighty sounds.

HOW IS LOVABLE POLITICAL PUNK ROCK GOING TO HELP ME WITH THE "LADIES"?
First things first: we're living in a time of war. We are neighbours to a nation being lead by a family hell-bent on destroying the earth. In times like these, it's our national duty to treat others with dignity and desire. Dating Service says it's time to do a little dance, make a little love. Secondly, an educated man with a sense of humour who can shake it on the dance floor will go far in this world.

THIS QUESTION RELATES TO THE MIND/BODY PROBLEM. TRUE OR FALSE: DUALISM IS TOTAL BULLSHIT. EXPLAIN.
True! Are you a body or do you have a body? That is the age old question. Is that your hand or is it you? We are so alienated from our bodies in this culture that in pop songs we refer to being single as having 'nobody.' The implications of this term make my skin crawl: if being single means we have no body, are we only ever experiencing our own embodiment through sexual/romantic partnership? That is so sad. What about the flavours of the world, and the companionship of the crowd, the smell of sweat, the taste of your own dirty mouth in the morning...
If we believe that our body is nothing but a fleshy vehicle for mental traffic, carting our minds to work every day, it is much easier to accept and quietly perpetuate political and economic systems that are violent towards the body. It is easier to say 'yes' to working longer hours, losing sleep, drinking coffee until our bones dissolve into a papier mache lattice that barely holds up the work suit, when the goal of work is to get more money in the bank, rather than to fulfill a pressing material need like a soft bed, and healthy food. What good is a soft bed when you have no time for sleep; what good is healthy food when you have no time to cook?

ONE CONSEQUENCE OF THE SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS IS THAT OUR CULTURE IS DOOMED, DOOMED, DOOMED. WHEN AND WHY WILL CIVILIZATION CRUMBLE AND BURN? IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO FORESTALL THIS INEVITABILITY, OR ARE WE JUST FIDDLING WHILE ROME BURNS?
Well, according to the new Pentagon report that was published by that guy known 'round those parts as "Yoda", we will see London turn into Siberia by 2020. Armies will take over nations to protect their dwindling resources. Famine and disease will rise. Dating Service will be putting out their 'Nero' cassette single. For as much as we want the government to pull their heads out and get this world back on track, its inevitable that something bad, bad, bad is going to happen.
I guess the anecdote that would be most useful here is there was this man who went skydiving with some friends for his 50th birthday. He was the last one to jump and on the way down, both chutes failed to deploy. Instead of flailing and screaming, he began to gracefully spin and twirl '“ pirouettes and swan dives all the way to his death. Good way to go.

By How Gauche