Guest Chef: Tim from Babel Books and Records

There are some things that really make a neighbourhood livable: a good bakery, a big park, a coffee joint that's open when it's too damn early in the morning to make your own. The Queen and Ossington area (where your humble columnist resides) has always had those necessities, but suddenly, in the past year, it's gotten all these perks, too. There's a vegetarian café, a couple of bars with jukeboxes, and the one thing that absolutely ROCKS to have a couple blocks from your house: a very, very well-stocked used book and record store.*

I've wanted to interview Tim, the owner of Babel Books and Records (123 Ossington) since the place opened about six months ago. He was absolutely willing, but when he heard that this was the indie rock cooking column, he became a bit unsure. Tim, see, claims that he can't cook.

Now, to me, 'œI can't cook'? is as strange and incomprehensible a statement as, say, 'œI hate reading.'? It's even stranger to hear it from a vegetarian (like Tim and I are) who's over 30 (like Tim is.) You pretty much have to learn to cook for yourself if you're going to spend years avoiding some of the major staples of your dominant culture's diet. But hey, if you haven't any particular culinary aptitude, you've just gotta learn to fake it. Fake it like a punk rock bassist.

Tim says that his awesome fake cooking recipe grosses some people out, so if you're serving this to fastidious friends, don't tell them how you made it.

Tim's 'œThis is how Dee Dee Ramone would have made curry'? Fake Curry Cookery

Equipment:
One, and only one, large-ish saucepan

Ingredients:
One boil-in-a-bag curry (You can get these from health food shops. They usually cost about $5 for two. Different brands vary in quality '“ I like TastyBite InstantIndia. I always have a few of these in my pantry for when I don't feel like cooking and can't afford takeout.)
Noodles (rice vermicelli works best for timing.)

Soundtrack:
The Gun Club, Fire of Love (So says Tim.)

Fill the saucepan with water and put it on a stovetop burner. Turn the burner on to High. When the water boils, chuck in the curry-in-a-bag. After a minute or two, put a couple of handfuls of noodles in the saucepan, too. When the noodles are soft and edible, strain the water off and transfer them to a nice plate. Open the bag of curry and serve it over the noodles.

That's the whole recipe. All I can add is that local small-brewery beer tastes excellent with any curry.

So that's Tim's home-cooking hint. Of course, he lives right down the street from Get Real! (The aforementioned vegetarian café) and the Crooked Star (Where they show the week's worth of Coronation Street** during their Sunday brunches) so dude's got options. There's a whole lot going on in this part of the city. Tim and I and a lot of others aren't interested in this being a scene; what we want is an independent, livable, sustainable, fun community.

As dedicated, critical fans of independent popular culture (read: big nerds), and people who truly give a fuck about what happens in this city, Tim and I (and you, and you, and you, too) have a serious stake in building up such communities. We should all be starting our own businesses, be they record stores, coffee shops, small presses, dog-walking services, whatever. Not only will this keep us sane and decent people as we get older, (I, for one, have no desire to either a) live my life in a button-down job and exist for weekend shows, or b) become a bitter old cynical punk lady.) but it will help turn each of our neighborhoods into uniquely kick-ass places to live. It's a big, grown-up idea to get excited about, like when you were 15 and lonely and heard [insert own personal Greatest Band Ever] for the first time.

Whoo. Okay. Off the soapbox now. Where was I?

Right. Instant curry? Nothing easier. Good, local used record store on Ossington? About fucking time.

*Though usually one of the first to cry 'œGentrification!?! BAH!'? I think my neighbourhood is gonna stay suspended in a semi-arty transitional state like a shred of Seville orange jelled in marmalade. Ossington's got the mental hospital to keep us all honest.

** Not to imply that Tim is or is not a Corry fan. It's a selling point for me.

By Emily Zimmerman