Wavelength first-timers The Secret Handshake are gonna bop their way into your hearts with their hip-hop musics on April 3. Growing out of a failed rockabilly jam session, The Secret Handshake became a booty-shake-shake amalgam of a variety of influences instead. They remain devoid of any intellectualizing or mission-statement-having, choosing instead to appeal exclusively to our rhythmic sensibilities. Made up of oft-Malkmus-voiced Spencer, Deaglan on guitar and Erik on drums, the strapping young lads and some selections from their The Secret EP can be found at http://www.myspace.com/thesecrethandshakes. Kate Carraway pulled their ponytails via email.

HOW DID THE SECRET HANDSHAKE COME TOGETHER?
D: In a dream where Arthur Rimbaud and Screamin' Jay Hawkins led me through the desert to discover '“ as they said and I quote '“ 'œThe Next Big Thing!"
E: Deaglan made an Irish joke, and nobody laughed except me. And Spencer. So I said "Hey guys, let's start a rap band." And suddenly we were famous.

DID Y'ALL GO TO SUMMER CAMP?
S: I was actually suckered into going to this insane mega-Baptist day camp by my crazy old neighbour when I was a kid. We played soccer-baseball and some kid tried to slide into home and he skinned his knee and then everybody had to get down on their knees and pray that he was OK. I knew this was lunacy so I never went back.
E: Once. I sat on a hornet and have a scar on my ass

I'M REALLY PRO-PEDOMORPHISM AND MAINTAIN THAT THROWING PERIODIC TANTRUMS AND CULTIVATING NICKNAMES AND STRINGING LITTLE ROCKETS ACROSS YOUR CEILING IS TOTALLY WISE AND HEALTHY. ASIDE FROM SECRET HANDSHAKES , DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN MUCH PRE-ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOUR?
D: Daydreaming intensely.
E: You're only as young as the kids you pick up in your unmarked van.

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT QUESTION. SINCE IRONY AND POST-IRONY ARE BORING AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE POST-POST-POST-IRONY THAT YOUR WEBSITE REFERS TO IS, WHAT'S THE SECRET HANDSHAKE'S CALL FOR THE NEXT OVERARCHING CULTURAL COMMON DENOMINATOR?
D: The call itself is left to be determined as the evolution occurs. The
call will sound something like a piercing feedback that consists of
rhyme, rhythm and reason.
S: Maybe mass-amputations for the sake of fashion or something. Or the inevitable comeback of Pig Latin, or maybe the crazy languages that twins teach each other, you know, like a pidgin fad or something, that'd be awesome.

EXPLAIN "AVANT-NOTHING"D: Avant-nothing means we don't subscribe to ever, with intention, set out
to be one genre or one sound. It's a found term.
E: We're not original. We're not clever. We're avant-nothing. We're passé, old hat, yesterday's news. But we're still better than you.

I HATE HOW NO ONE READS. PLEASE EXPLAIN TO THE WAVELENGTH AUDIENCE WHY LITERATURE IS RIGHTEOUS.
D: Literature is righteous. This is because to be righteous is to be
virtuous. Knowledge is a virtue. Literature provides knowledge. Literature then is virtuous and thus it is righteous.
E: Interpersonal communication is far too often mired by motive or circumstance, sentiment or timing '¦  Fiction, drama, and character are the sincerest forms of discourse, as they allow a barren, authentic and real human emotion to be communicated free of the emotional and intellectual meshwork surrounding it. To act, to convey, to tell the story is to portray a real feeling without the influence of time-space relevancies. The written word, of course, allows for this contextual value to pass to the reader's senses in a fashion which lets them choose their own learning methodology, '˜n'shit.

ANY RECOMMENDATIONS?
D: Ulysses by James Joyce, All Men Are Mortal by Simone de Beauvoir, and 'œHowl'? by Allen Ginsberg.
S: I really like this poet called Jeffrey McDaniel. I also really like I Am Legend by Richard Matheson, A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole, and pretty much anything by David Sedaris, Dr. Karl Shuker and H.P. Lovecraft.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CUPCAKE?
S: Vanilla with coconut and chocolate chips and made of ice-cream and world peace.
 

By Kate Carraway