Sometimes some bands just make you go "Ouuuhhh". The Cansecos is one of those extra-special bands. With an almost idiot-savant appreciation for the world of simple beats and comfy hooks, these dudes with 'tudes are almost certainly ready to rule your brain. Like the first time I heard David Bowie's Low album and realized that mood and synth are cooler than you, The Cansecos are on a mission to gently slap you across the face with their musical variety. Matt Thomas jumped in a barrel and threw himself into the river just to find the Cansecos and ask them these very questions.

MEMBER NAMES/INSTRUMENTS/TURN-ONS?
Bill, Gareth, Paul, Dan/various electro-funk instruments, lots of bass and drums/big rumps.

YOUR MUSIC IS FULL OF WONDERFUL NOISES. MAKE UP A NEW NOISE, AND TELL US WHY IT'S THE FUCKING BOMB.
A silly publication in Japan compared all these noises on our record to someone chewing with their mouth open. If you dig, then I guess you're a chewer, too.

IF YOU WERE TO HEADLINE ONE OF THOSE OBSCURE ROCK FESTIVALS IN EUROPE WITH AN UNPRONOUNCEABLE NAME, WHO'D BE ON THE BILL AND WHAT WOULD BE ITS GIMMICK?
Our set would be in between Michael McDonald and The Fifth Dimension. I doubt we would headline-- better to get things over with in time to see Fifth Dimension. The gimmick is that "What A Fool Believes" would be blasting out of a festival-sized sound system!

FAVOURITE THING SOMEONE HAS SAID ABOUT THE BAND?
A hooker friend once said that it's her favorite music to give hand jobs to.

AT GUN-POINT, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR SOUND?
I would try to explain to the gun man that it wasn't worth it '“ that we're just simple sonic tinkerers who only wanted to chill with some beats and bass. When he's convinced and puts the gun down, I'd kick it out of his hand, G would catch it in mid air and promptly put a bullet through the back of his head. Then DMX would go on about how 'œTalk is cheap, motherfucker!'? Then G, X and I would score some hash and hit the clubs.

WHEN/HOW/WHY DID YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER AS A BAND?
We got together as a band by some local Nuns who were running an after
school youth program aimed at quelling delinquency. If only Sister Gertrude were still with us -- she would have loved 'œThis Girl and This Boy.'? I need a moment.

FAVOURITE GIG STORY?
The Russian Futurists and us playing some Riverboat on the Mississippi.
After the show the Dealer caught Matt Hart cheating at 3 card Monte. We had to shoot our way outta that mess.

WHY DID YOU CALL YOURSELVES THE CANSECOS?
Steroid-abusing, human-abusing, baseball star hustlers with attitude that do the crime, the time, then do it again. You got a better name?

DEAR GOD! WHAT IS THE FUTURE OF MUSIC?
Singles, videos, downloads, mix tapes, theatrical live shows, dance floors,
recreational drugs, world tours, amazing festivals on the moon. Basically, the sooner The Avalanches are voted president of music, the better the future of music.

DON'T YOU HATE PANTS?
Try wearing nylons underneath. Might solve the chafing.

IF THE CANSECOS WERE A FOOD DISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE, WHAT WOULD IT BE SERVED WITH, HOW WOULD IT BE PREPARED AND WHO WOULD BRING IT TO THE TABLE?
King Crab served off of a naked hooker. The hot butter in her belly button.

WHO MAKES YOU WANNA MAKE MUSIC?
G - girlsareshort, the Russian Futurists, Cadence Weapon and Food For Animals!
Bill - King Crimson, Yes, Michael McDonald, Steve Miller.

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIST-FIGHT'”KRAFTWERK OR THE VELVET UNDERGROUND?
Kraftwerk. They'd get Lou Reed in a head lock and start twisting the
needles in his arms 'til he cried. They communicate telepathically, I'm told - real advantage in a fist fight.

TELL ME SOMETHING YOU THINK I SHOULD KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T ASKED OR YOU'RE DYING TO TELL.
New Cansecos album this summer. It will charm the pants off every one who hears it. Especially the girls. Then you will dance.

By Matt Thomas