When Henry Fletcher says his stage name aloud, even outside a bar on a revelatory Friday, he does so with a proper French accent. 'œEhn-re.'? That is called, 'œcommitment to doing shit right.'? And as frontman for barn-dance-country rock cretins Henri Faberge and The Adorables, Henry (who possesses a politician-like glad-handing-swagger) functions as a guitar-wielding, art-house pied piper. The Adorables, who number somewhere around ten-ish, are drawn from (among others) Spitfires and Mayflowers, Robocopp, The Postage Stamps, The Bicycles, Township Expansion, and comedy parlor Second City. Shit is massive. Kate Carraway broke several promises to cook for them chez her house, and instead e-mailed with Henry and bassist/trumpeter Brendan Howlett during work hours.

BRIEF BAND BIO, 50 WORDS OR LESS, PREFERABLY IN THE STYLE OF ARTHURIAN LEGEND.
Henry: No. I've never heard of anything so contrived.
Brendan: 'œBehold, The Land of Rock
is in bloody strife and turmoil.

'œHear the tides of the godless Saxons,
bringing death and fire.
Hear the silent supplication
of our dead.

'œWhere are our brave warriors
of the shining helms,
To free us
from pain and shackles?

'œOur tears and entreaties
To restore our pride and dignity
remain unheeded.

'œWhy do you mock our prayers, O Lord,
With only Henri Faberge
and nine Adorables
As our protectors?'?

I'VE SAID BEFORE THAT THE INEVITABLE BOOK ABOUT TORONTO MUSIC CIRCA RIGHT NOW SHOULD BE CALLED INCEST. YOUR BAND SEEMS, TO, UM, REINFORCE THIS IDEA.
B: There's a lot of band-hopping in Toronto. But I think it's awesome. It's kind of like Lego. But as far as us reinforcing the idea of incest? Sheesh. You play one barn dance in the middle of nowhere, and everyone just starts getting all assumptiony.

DESCRIBE YOUR BAND CULTURE.
H: Trinidad and Tobago? Kefir? These questions are preposterous.

WOULD YOU RATHER SPEND A YEAR TOTALLY, UTTERLY SOBER BUT WITH AS MUCH DOING IT AS YOU CAN TAKE, OR PARTICIPATE IN AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF CRUNK REVELRY BUT WITH NO DOING IT?
H: I'd agree to a year of both sobriety and chastity if only someone would tell me where you live so that I may come over there and chew off your precious writing fingers one at a time.
B:
Are you kidding? Fucking wins every time. So, sober fucking all the way. If the world was perfect, my 'œTo Do List'? would be three items long:
1) humping
2) food
3) music
I'd put them in order of importance, but it changes hourly.

DOES THE MUSIC OF HF&TA'S SOUND MORE LIKE DRUGS OR LIKE DOING IT?
B: Neither. It's more rock n' roll with a bit of country and '˜60's pop in it. I just wrote a really sarcastic answer to this question that features the phrase, 'œThe rhythm of flapping vagina lips,'? but it was way too vulgar to print, and I threw up a little.

WHO IS THE MOST ADORABLE AND WHY? A TOP 3 IS ACCEPTABLE.
B: Dana and Andy win as a couple I think, '˜cause they are doing it. If I had a big sister, I would want Dana to be it. And Andy is my musical role model. He's just fucking retardedly talented. I told him that once and he got all mad. Now it's in print, Lloyd. Now it's in print!

IS IT FOR THE MONEY OR THE HO'S?
H: We have received neither.
B: I would do it for a large halibut burrito. And love. The love of burritos!

WHO IS IN YOUR FAVOURITE IMAGINARY AUDIENCE?
H: Children. I know our lyrics are grossly inappropriate, but I can only envision the longevity of this band if I accept that we will one day take on Raffi as our tour manager and start singing about how much we love chocolate.
B: Naked people. Also audiences who make no distinction between stage and, uh, not the stage. My favourite shows are the ones when I'm surrounded by dancing people. And unicorns.

WHAT IS HENRY'S BAND MANAGEMENT STYLE? SADISTIC? PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?
H: While I'm am both sadistic and passive-aggressive, I really do love every one of the people in our band. That's why there are so damn many of us, even though we haven't figured out parts for them all yet. Which is why Dr. Farf (Brendan) is the manager, not me. I don't'get shit done.
B: I'm not actually sure. Nobody really listens to him.

WHAT SHOULD WAVELENGTH ATTENDEES KNOW BEFORE COMING TO SEE YOU PLAY?
H: Leave your bullshit at home. We don't care if you don't like us or our music but, if you're not going to get sweaty and dance and tackle a friend and take off articles of clothing, Corner Gas is probably on.
B: I will bed you all before the night is through.