This Halloween, Wavelength will be treated to a very special event: the debut of Rigor Mortis Got Me Down - a five-part musical based on the life cycle of a zombie. The Zombie Mark Meeks has gotten a group of his undead brethren together to form a monstrous band and mummified choir in an attempt to properly realize the epic scope of this apocalyptic narrative. Catch them now before they gradually decompose. Or eat you. Dylan Reibling trapped Zombie Mark in a root cellar and asked him a few questions before invariably letting his guard down and getting his face chewed off.

OKAY. WHAT IS RIGOR MORTIS GOT ME DOWN? EXPLAIN. FROM THE BEGINNING.

ZOMBIE MARK: Well, since you asked so nicely, a few hours after a person or animal dies, the joints of the body stiffen and become locked in place. This stiffening is called rigor mortis. Depending on temperature and other conditions, rigor mortis lasts approximately 72 hours. The phenomenon is caused by the skeletal muscles partially contracting. The muscles are unable to relax, so the joints become fixed in place. And I mean, come on. That's enough to get anybody down. Stop acting so high and mighty.

CAST OF CHARACTERS?

ZM: There isn't really a cast of characters in a typical character sense. It's just a very loosely told story of a young man's journey into becoming a ghoul. Along the way, he grapples with his newfound hunger, meeting those that he had known in life, eating them. It's all very touching. It would be hard to pull off a "cast of characters" sort of situation, as zombies are more of a grey, shuffling mass than anything.

WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THE RIGOR MORTIS GOT ME DOWN LIVE PERFORMANCE?

ZM: We're just a band playing some songs, man! There won't be any biting, infections or spilling of blood at all! None whatsoever...

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY FOR THE AUDIENCE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS EVENT?

ZM: Stand as close to the stage as possible. I really don't want to have to walk that far to get a bite of... I mean... shake hands in a polite and civil manner with all of you after the show. But in all seriousness, it will be a Halloween show, so I encourage costumes, particularly with a zombie theme! Actually, a celebrity zombie theme would be good. I want to see someone show up as the zombie Dean Martin.

OKAY. COME ON. A ZOMBIE MUSICAL? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY?

ZM: I came up with this idea before the Evil Dead musical came out. I swear it. No, really. I swear it. Why wouldn't it be okay, though? Next you're going to be telling me that my barbershop piece, "Great moments in domestic abuse" is in bad taste. I think this interview is over...

I RECENTLY HEARD A RECORDING OF THIS MUSICAL CYCLE. I FOUND IT TO BE NOT ONLY HAUNTING AND CHILLING, BUT ACTUALLY QUITE BEAUTIFUL AND MOVING. I THINK I'VE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART ABOUT ZOMBIES. WAS THIS YOUR INTENTION?

ZM: Well, I was going to end the interview, but now you're complimenting me. So I'll stay. And no, it's not my goal to sway people. I'm just here to educate. For example, did you know that the living dead aren't even considered people? As soon as you die, you lose the right to vote. I think that this is unfair. For one thing, there have been far too few initiatives introduced to bring fresh human flesh to the legal market. It really should be available on street corners. Will we ever see a zombie Prime Minister? I would like to think that if we do, that I had something to do with it. Actually, I'm changing my answer to this question. It WAS my intention to change hearts with this thing I did.

HELP ME OUT, HERE. WHO ARE WE, THE AUDIENCE, SUPPOSED TO SIDE WITH?

ZM: Well, I'm actually hoping that one side of the audience will be about medium-hot, and the other side will be honey garlic.

TOP 10 ZOMBIES. LIST THEM. GO.

ZM: i) The little girl zombie that kills her parents in Night of the Living Dead.
ii) The "tar-man" zombie from Return of the Living Dead that says "Braains....?"
iii) Bub, the zombie that learned him up some talkin' in Day of the Dead.
iv) Rob Zombie.
v) The zombie priest from Dead Alive. Who goes on to screw the...
vi) Zombie nurse from Dead Alive. Who goes on to give birth to the...
vii) Zombie BABY from Dead Alive. Who goes on to kick a fat man in the nuts with a severed leg.
viii) The dancing naked chick zombie from Return of the Living Dead.
ix) ALL of the zombies from Night of the Creeps, because they become zombies due to these leeches that crawl up your nose and into your brain and then make you eat people while they incubate MORE alien zombie leeches in your grey matter, and then when they've grown large enough to infect others, they make your head explode.
x) Me.