I was invited to watch Lunchmeat practice, but was afraid of them, so I stayed in my room and wrote them some questions over the e-web. Adam Morano was kind enough to answer them. If you're not familiar with Lunchmeat, they sort of sound like going to a birthday party for a kid you never really even liked. Commencing interview sequence.

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN LUNCHMEAT, WHAT DO THEY ALL DO, AND ARE ANY OF THEM EXPENDABLE?
There are three people in Lunchmeat. One of them lives in a cave. They all have better things to do. They don't know what expendable means.

HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS EVER SHARED A WOMAN? THIS IS A SANDWICH JOKE. GET IT? TAKE YOUR TIME TO LET THE LAUGHTER SETTLE BEFORE YOU ANSWER.
First off, there is nothing funny about double-teaming. But to answer your question yes....well...almost. Two of us brought a women home once after a show. One of us (Charlie) - couldn't get a boner though, and spent the rest of the night in the bathroom crying. Maybe next time.

I NEED A DESCRIPTION OF YOUR SOUND FOR THE INTRO OF THIS INTERVIEW. WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO SAY? USE AS MANY HYPHENS AS YOU LIKE. WAVELENGTH LOVES HYPHENATED MUSIC GENRES.
Sounds like: Going to a birthday party for a kid you never really even liked.

YOUR LYRICS ARE SOMEWHAT CONFRONTATIONAL, I GUESS. ARE YOU A CONFRONTATIONAL PERSON, OR DOES THAT JUST COME OUT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING?
When Terry Fox confronted cancer did he get asked questions like this?

WHAT WOULD BE LUNCHMEAT'S DREAM BILL? NAME TWO OTHER BANDS (PAST OR PRESENT) THAT YOU'D LOVE TO PLAY WITH. AND WOULD YOU BE OPENING OR HEADLINING?
We'd love to play with really popular bands like Aids Wolf and Ca Va Mal.

WHO ARE THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULDN'T MIND BEING STEPPED ON BY AN ELEPHANT?
Well... Sammy wants to die. So, you can step on him. And if we can somehow lump the vast majority of the readers of this interview together, and count them as one, then let's do that for #2 ... and then pretty much anyone really...just don't fuck with Terry Fox.

WHAT DOES PLAYING WAVELENGTH MEAN TO YOU?
One time I was at the Horseshoe Tavern on a Tuesday night, around 9:30. I watched the shittiest band play the shittiest set. They had big goofy smiles from ear to ear across their faces. When the set was finished, the band rushed outside where they proceeded to dance around - play fighting and high-fiving one another, picking each other up off the ground. Then one member turned to the Horseshoe Tavern sign, and with arms raised exalted...."The Horseshoe fuckin' Tavern Baby! The Rolling Fucking Stones!" They all cheered and continued to dance and revel. "Sneaky fuckin' Dee's baby....Wave-Fuckin'-Length!"

ASK OR TELL PEOPLE TO COME SEE YOU PLAY, AND WE'LL CALL IT AN INTERVIEW? THANKS!
Remember when you used to go to Wavelength? And then you stopped going to
Wavelength? Well, hey! Now's a great time to start going to Wavelength again!

By Jeff Wright