Ryan McLaren had a lot to do this month, and when the time came to think of some questions to ask Comic Book Fever, a charming Toronto three-piece, he blanked. Nothing. Zip. No questions. So he decided to pilfer some questions from a recently purchased Jughead and Archie comic (shut up) and ask those to the bands. Basically, he just found anything with a question mark after it and wrote it down. But then he lost interest in that and started asking questions from the Bible. We're thinking about firing that guy.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP DREAMING ABOUT THAT NEW GIRL AND ASK HER OUT, ARCH?
Jahmal Tonge: New girl?
Zion Lee: She'll ask me out. I don't need or want to do anything about it.
Fox, Jacob: Did she mention Comic Book Fever? It doesn't matter. Whatever. She looks
stupid anyway.

BUT WHAT POSSIBLE EXERCISE COULD HE AND I DO IN THIS WEATHER?
Z: Why don't you do some cardio? You're looking a little meaty. A little Baldwin-esque.
F: Anything, as long as you're developing the product.
J: Whatever you want to do. That's cool with me. Forever.

YOU GOT TWO WEEKS DETENTION? FOR WHAT?
J: Stabbing your head off. With my dick.
F: My dad was an English teacher.
Z: Nobody gives Comic Book Fever the detention.

SO WHAT GOOD IS A FLYING CARPET IF YOU CAN'T RIDE IT?
Z: I just think it really ties the room together.
F: Put up a hell of a fight, I'll tell you that much. And that's why it is where it is. In a frame, on my wall next to the marble mantle. With a light on it.
J: I don't believe in carpets.

WHATSAMATTAH, DAD, OLD AGE SETTLING IN?
F: Lifting heavy stuff was never really my thing.
Z: You came out of my balls, son.
J: No. Nope. Nothing about it. And you don't even know it. So get out.

WE CAN'T KILL OFF CREATIVE WORKS OF ART, CAN WE?
F: Comic Book Fever can kill whatever it wants
Z: I remember this little paperboy that used to deliver the paper. One timeI saw him out and about and he was dancing, well not really dancing, more of a running kinda. It was really cute.
J: Comic Book Fever.

HMM... THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT AS WELL AS I HAD HOPED. SURPRISINGLY, ARCHIE COMICS DON'T ASK AS MANY PROBING QUESTIONS AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD. SO HERE'S A FEW QUESTIONS I'VE TAKEN FROM THE BIBLE.
Z: Well why don't we all just give up and do everything really half-assed. No, I'm serious.
J: We all know you're serious.
F: He's not serious.

HOW CAN IT BE QUIET, SEEING THE LORD HATH GIVEN IT A CHARGE AGAINST ASHKELON, AND AGAINST THE SEASHORE?
Z: What the hell is this guy talking about?
F: He's making a mockery of the product. You're making a mockery of the product.
J: Fetch me my hard plastic eyes. Cause I'm gonna kick his and I need to look handsome.

DO NOT RICH MEN OPPRESS YOU, AND DRAW YOU BEFORE THE JUDGEMENT SEATS?
Z: Jahmal gets oppressed because he's black.
F: Hey man, Happy Black History Month.
J: Thanks man. Do you want a leaflet of all the black inventors?
F: OK.
J: I'm gonna have to charge you five dollars.
Z: Why? I see people giving this out for free in front of the Eaton Center.
J: You only get it for free if you are black.
F: Whatever, I don't even want it.

DID NOT MOSES GIVE YOU THE LAW, AND YET NONE OF YOU KEEPETH THE LAW?
Z: What did he tell you? I wouldn't trust that guy if I were you. Because he never gave us shit. Look, it's your life. I'm just trying make sure you're ok. That's what Comic Book Fever is all about.
J: What's the law regarding big sloppy pussy?
F: Stop acting tough. You two are fucking egomaniacs. You guys should just get some coke and suck each others dicks.

WHERE UNTO THEN SHALL LIKEN THE MEN OF THIS GENERATION? AND TO WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?
Z: A bunch of carpet munchers if you ask me.
J: Carpet munchers? More like homos.
F: Will you fucking calm down.
J: I am calm.
Z: He's calmer than you are Jake.
F: Whatever Zion'¦
J: Calmer than you.
F: You guys are fucking assholes. I don't even think about this shit. This is stupid. When I kicked Steve out of the band it was because I wanted to get serious. Not sit here drinking in a kiddie pool.
Z: What are you talking about? This is great. We're like celebrities and shit.
J: There was this girl and she totally let me put it in her.
F: She heard us?
Z: Good question. Has she heard Comic Book Fever?
J: Yeah.