Bathtub Shitter
Dance Hall Grind ((Super)Hit Jam Records)
I'm not sure how to put my love for Bathtub Shitter into words. A lot of grind bands, and I don't give a fuck what anybody says, sound exactly the same. Not these Japanese gems. I've now played this CD for about a dozen friends who generally would not be into that stuff at all, and yet the dancey-kinda melodies to all these songs (coupled with the hilariously high pitched broken-English lyrics) are simply irresistible, like that shitty old song that reminds you of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but isn't actually in that movie. Plus, the CD comes with lyrics in the liner! Now you too can sing along, with lines such as, 'œWhen I'm child / couldn't crawl without nappy,'? and, 'œThere was like my life on brown shining or shitting!'? This is some next level shit guys.
- Spencer 'œmy last name was made for this review'? Butt
File Next To -- Maniac Cop, Fuck...I'm Dead, Gigantic Brain

Clothes Make the Man
Self Titled (Independent, www.clothesmaketheman.org)
Toronto quartet Clothes Make the Man hit the ground running on their debut full-length album and never flag in passion or zeal, carrying out the good work with their hard hitting rock and radio-friendly songwriting. Ryan McLennan's distinctive voice will be one of the most compelling things heard all year, like Dave Grohl with a smoker's cough. The ragged grind paradoxically sounds sweet and lively, and will win listeners over with it's distinctiveness. The interesting thing is, the grittiness of McLennan's doesn't come across as a hindrance, but sounds more like the sound an amplifier makes when it is pushed to the limit, overdriving and distorting in the beautiful way only a well-loved amp can do. But the entire focus of the band isn't centered around McLennan's voice -- Clothes Make the Man are tight and cohesive, and it's obvious that band understands what kind of hard-edged sound they want. The band shifts easily between quiet and loud dynamics without losing pace or white-knuckled intensity, and still brings loud and beautiful choruses into focus seamlessly, right up front where they belong. Enough craft has gone into each track to create varied, intricate song structures that stay interesting after repeated listens. Each track sounds well-defined and different, which is surely a feat for any rock band on their debut album. The drums sound crisp and tight, the guitars are clear and bright and the bass fills out the sound without muddling everything up. When slinky background vocals slip into the mix, it helps build the sonic atmosphere the band expands throughout the mix. Every single song across the album demands the listener's attention -- it's hard to pick favorites. Just start at the beginning, because this is practically a perfect album. '“Ty Warner
File next to: Whatever you listen to music on for the next year.

Glissandro 70
S/T (Constellation Records, www.cstrecords.com)
This album is a gift. There's no way to describe what I'm hearing other than to say I'm thankful for being able to hear it. It's quirkiness is enriched by a delicacy and intimacy that pulls you in, to the point where you feel like this belongs to you, like you get it and no one else does. This album will become your friend. Thank you Craig Dunsmuir and thank you Sandro Perri. This will be remembered as a seminal Toronto record. - Ryan McLaren
File next to: 2006.

Hoosier Poet
S/T (Tik Tok Tik Tok Music)
I'm really sorry guys, there's just something about this CD that stopped me from really enjoying it. I listened to this for the first time while taking a shower (settle down ladies, I was wearing a bathing suit) and when it first got going I was like 'œsick, this is gonna be a good one'? (referring to the fact that I was gonna pretend to know the lyrics and sing along and close my eyes and pretend that I was a rockstar), but then shit just hit the fan. First this dude started singing and his voice was just really boring and screamy and shit and as the song progressed the songs got 'œjoltier'? and suddenly the guy I was picturing myself to be went from being a hunk (i.e.: what I actually look like) to some dude with a mad side swooping haircut with blond in my bangs and black finger nails and some type picture combining a gun and a heart and a bird. Put the first 2 songs on repeat and have a good shower. '“ Spencer Butt
File Next To -- Old ...Trail of Dead and Apocalypse Hoboken, Moneen

Saucer
Dallaire (Independent)
While the packaging for Saucer's latest Dallaire is strictly black and white, the music itself contains all the colour the band ever needed. The three piece band will surprise listeners with the range of sound they come up with, all while painting in broad rock and roll strokes. The ten year old trio is based in Toronto, made up of Jay Deen on drums, Alex Neddleman on bass and Jef Theysmeyer on guitar. Dallaire is named after Canadian senator and former general Romeo Dallaire who was haunted by the world's reaction to the Rwandan genocide. The album reflects the tone that comes along with self-reflection, doubt, horror and shock -- think about the range of emotion explored in Apocalypse Now and you'd be close. By providing this kind of political and personal context, the band is free to provide a soundtrack to whatever film is playing inside a listener's head. While the band at times veers between sounding like Metallica or a litany of post-hardcore bands, their talent as a three piece shines through and engages the music and in a special and unique way. '“ Tyrone Warner
File next to -- Explosions in the Sky, Mogwai, Metallica

If you like everything you can't possibly have good taste. The Bad Band Revolution Compilation and Swearing at Motorists: Last Night Becomes This Morning were reviewed by Evan Dickson and Trevor Coleman with the assistance of Wilson and Pippa, two hard drinking and adventurous east-coasters.

Bad Band Revolution Compilation (Jennifer Lopez Knife)

Wilson: This is way too Mozart. Cuz this isn't a revolution this is just'¦ It's just'¦ y'know'¦ it's awful.
'¦
Wilson: But they're all good musicians?
Trevor: No they're not, that's the point.
Trevor goes on about the Bad Band Revolution. 'œMusic is art."
Wilson talks about Radiohead.
'¦
Trevor: I'm not diggin' this.
Pippa: I liked it, then I disliked it, now I like it again.
Wilson: Radiohead never did chirping into the microphone.
'¦
Trevor: When they play they throw buckets of fake blood. Robocopp is designed to make you hate it.
Wilson: I love this. It's beautiful. It's Lollipop. Lollipop is so beautiful.
Evan: This sample is like a comic that holds a pause panel for eighteen pages.
Wilson: Is this current? This sounds like OPP y'know what I'm sayin'? You down with OPP yeah who knows me? Ba-ba-ba-ba-bah-baaah Smoking a big Bowl of Hash will make you a better worker. Can I get a cab at'¦.

Swearing at Motorists

Last Night Becomes This Morning (Secretly Canadian)
Evan: The opening song reminds me of their first album. Back to basics. I think what he's good at is taking familiar things and stripping them down to the'¦
Trevor: It needs filling out.
Evan: I disagree.
Evan: I don't think Swearing at Motorists aren't about the music, but the lifestyle that the music entails.
Trevor: (Quoting Motorists frontman, Dave Doughman) 'œIs everybody hiiiigh?'?

[Before the CD was over we left to smoke hash and shoot off Roman candles in a nearby schoolyard. It was below freezing and Trevor and I could barely light the fireworks with our shaky, bemittened hands. Swearing at Motorists made us do it.]