by Jay Moonah

Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!

Ah Grandma Dynamite, such words of wisdom. A quesadilla is indeed a tasty treat that even your lovable nerd of a grandson can cobble together.

"Queso" is Spanish for cheese, and a traditional quesadilla is just grated cheese cooked between a couple of flour tortillas. That's it! However personally I like to sake it up a bit and add a few other things.

I usually start with bell peppers. Cut 'em up pretty thoroughly. If I have some cooked chicken or pork around, that can certainly go in too. If that's all you're using you probably don't need to pre-cook the ingredients, but sometimes if I'm adding things like onion or mushrooms, I'll cook the lot together first before combining with the cheese and tortillas.

The type of cheese you prefer is largely a matter of choice. I tend to favor mozzarella or a mild cedar, but any cheese that grates or crumbles and melts nicely will do.

Finally the tortillas - I use any store bought ones I can find, just stay away from those little chihuahua-sized ones. Get the ones that are about the circumference of a dinner plate. Yo quero tortilla grande!

Now, assembly. Place one tortilla on a plate and grate on the cheese. Spread it evenly and add any other ingredients. Grate on a little more cheese, and top with a second tortilla.

Heat your frying pan at a medium high heat. You'll obviously want something that is bigger than the tortilla so it will sit in and cook evenly. I'd highly recommend using a little cooking spray.

Making quesadillas is a little like the parallel bar in gymnastics - all the style in the world won't save you if you have a crappy dismount. So, slide it gently into the pan, cook for about 3-4 minutes depending on your stove, then follow this nice little trick. Place your plate completely over the quesadilla in the pan, then turn the whole lot over, supporting the plate as you go. Don't touch the metal of the pan! You should be able to get your masterpiece onto the plate nicely with this technique. Slide it back onto the pan for another couple of minutes of cooking on the other side, and the repeat the trick to take it off the heat for good.

I usually cut this into eighths and serve with salsa. You can share this, or eat the whole lot of you're a hungry dancing machine like our bespectacled friend.

Bon (Buen?) appetit!